I was sitting and enjoying watching American Idol last night when a call came in. I could barely make out what the person was saying and could hear someone else screaming and saying something. Finally I made out what the caller was trying to say "Janet, the lady in 209 is on the floor and not responding".

I rushed to put on my shoes, Jack was right behind me, how he gets his on faster then me I'll never know. As Im running down the street I can here the ambulance in the distance and immediately I stopped running. A thought ran threw my head that Im going to see a dead body and I don't want to. I was scared!

Janet is one of my tenants, she has always been a dear friend and I knew this day would come, I just didn't think it would be like this or now. She was in her 60's with just about every health problem a person could have. Several months ago she had a heart problem which caused the doctors to stop her heart and restart it. I visited her several times in the hospital and took care of her birds while she was gone. When I first moved in here with Jack she was the first person to ever talk to me. Soon we talked daily. She was one of those neighbors that likes to know who you are, how many kids do you have and anything else of interest. When I became the manager of the apartments I felt sad because I couldn't talk to her as much as I used to. She liked to gossip and I couldn't being the manager now. I feel bad because a lot of times I had to cut our conversations short due to me being so busy and not having time to chit chat.

I walked up onto the walk way to her unit and the tenant who had called me was very excited and trying to figure out if she was dead. I stood in the door way and knew she was gone. I didn't have to get close to know. "she's gone Amy, she's not here, she's dead" I said that over and over again and Amy continued to look for any sign of life. Jack walked up behind me and held on to me, I turned and told him she's gone and he said softly "I know baby". As the ambulance finally pulled up, Jack was waving them in to the right place and I told the woman she was gone. Amy was still inside babbling and crying trying to figure out if she was dead. I don't think she wanted to believe it, that's why she kept frantically checking. Everyone that lived near Janet loved her. You couldn't help not to, she was just that kind of woman.

One thing I will always remember about her is her absolute honesty. She was one of those ladies that told you how it was and you either liked it or not. She had an opinion about everything and was sure to let you know what it was. As hard core as she was she also had a really soft side to her. She always bought me Christmas presents and one year made me a Birthday dinner. I remember how she told me, she called and said "I've made you lunch for your birthday, now get your ass down here and eat it before it gets cold". That was Janet.....and I loved that about her. When ever she would call me, which was nearly everyday, I would answer and she would say "well shut your mouth" and I'd say "what do you want lady". It was just between us and then we'd spend the next half hour talking about everything and everybody that we didn't talk about the day before.

I stood at the window peeking in as the paramedic turned her over. I started to cry and then felt the urge to throw up. I held it in and Jack came and pulled me away. He knew I'd have more nightmares if I continued to look. I knew I would to, but couldn't help but to see what was happening. I didn't want to believe she was really gone. I talked to the police a bit and we tried to figure out who was her next of kin and where she'd keep the numbers. We gave the officer an address book that Amy found inside and they called her daughter. They told us she was dead and that the coroner was on his way. Jack held me tight and said it was time to go back to our apartment. I agreed and we did.

American Idol was still on, I couldn't even concentrate on it. I just kept playing the picture of her slumped over on the ground in my mind. I knew I wouldn't sleep. I felt sorry for her, for her family and wondered if she was ok where ever she was now. My mind swims with so much today as I try to call her friends and wait for her family to arrive. I can't get the picture out of my mind. I keep thinking I should have walked slower so I didn't have to look.

Good bye friend, I hope your ok now. I love you and will always remember you! God Bless You!

Susan
~peace~