two candy bars, a bag of popcorn and two hours later.....

I don't do well waiting in waiting rooms. I knew this was going to be hard but I had no idea how hard. They called Jack's name, we kissed and he followed a woman down a long hallway. I was worried because he had been given a sedative and we were not real sure how well it would work or not work. I watched him walking down the hall until I couldn't see him anymore when he disappeared through a door. I knew I was going to shop in the gift shop and I also knew it was a very small gift shop and that it would only kill 15min tops. I leaned over the outpatient desk and asked a very small woman with huge glasses how long she thought he might be. She didn't know for sure but said atleast an hour and a half. "UGH" So I started out on an adventure. I desided I was going to walk every inch of the hospital that I could or would be allowed to and maybe even see if I could sneek up to maternaty an look at new babies. I had wished now I had brought my camera because I could see they have a neat pond and water fountain outside. I made a mental note about the flower garden and path to the fountain. I would make my way outside too.

Then I saw the snack bar.....ooooh! I'll have something to snack on! I thought. I dug into my purse and pulled out some change, then scanned the machine for something good. I chose Reeses cups and sat down at a little table and ate it. I noticed then that I could have gone outside and eatten also. I wandered around alot, saw a couple people I knew but didn't go up to them. I didn't feel like talking to anyone. I get so nervous about hospitals in general let alone worried about Jack doing ok. I just didn't feel like having a conversation. I rode the elevator a couple times and almost got lost looking for the babies. I decided I better go back to the outpatient area just in case he was done early. I watched a bit of t.v. in the waiting room then a family came in with a crying 2 yr old so I decided to check out the gift shop. The gift shop was small but they had alot of neat stuff. I picked up a container of lotion with shea butter and it smelled like watermelons so I hung on to it. Then I saw something cute for Jack's daughter and I desperately tried to find something for Jack. I know it is silly, but I wanted to get him something, after all he would have done that for me. They sure didn't have much that a man would like. Then I spotted this little stuffed monkey and since Jack collects monkey's I thought he might like it. I stepped up to the counter and paid for my things. I checked the time on my cell phone and relized I still had 45 min to kill!

I found a quiet area to sit in and looked over my goodies. The monkey was cutier and softer then I thought. I opened the lotion and tried it....mmmmm...it smelled good! I sat quietly then and watched people come and go. Wondering what thier story was. I guess time went by because before long a woman was asking me if I was with Gary. She said he was almost done about 5 min. He was in there for a total of 2 hours. When he finaly walked out he looked good, he said it was very noisy and at one point his shoulder cramped up. He didn't realize it had been two hours and was just hungry.

Right after dinner he fell asleep in his chair with his shoes on, so I took off his shoes and covered him up. He slept for an hour or so then woke in time to watch a favorite tv show and go to bed. Im just glad that's over and hopefully soon we'll know what's wrong.

Time for work, it's friday, pay day and my short day.

Susan
~peace~

Today is the day

Jack's MRI is this afternoon, he will get home early from work today and hopefully take sometime to relax before we leave. The plan is......There is no plan, we'll play everything by ear and hope for the best. I was talking to him last night about the MRI machine, which he has been in before, and at one point as I said "I bet it feels like being in a coffin!" he said that was enough talk and lets go to sleep. Ooops! so I zipped it and rubbed his back until he fell asleep.


Susan
~Peace~

It feels like Fall

What a beautiful day it has turned out to be! The sun is shinning and it's 75 degrees out. I'm just about to take a walk and enjoy some fresh air.

Jack's MRI is thursday, he's nervous about it but not saying he is. I can tell he is because he gets very quiet. He had concern about being in the MRI machine and has asked if they can sadate him. I called the Doctor thismorning and he has prescribed Jack something, we'll pick it up tonight. He's also decided to take a half day off for this (at my request). I think it would be best for him to relax a bit before he has this MRI done.

Jack's daughter called today, she's 22 and lives across town. She just recently broke up with a boyfriend she had been with for at least 3 years. She rents the upstairs of a two story house and her best friend lives below her with her husband and new baby. Last night it was revieled that her boyfriend and the best friend have been having sex together for 2 years. Ofcourse there was a fight and everyone is now very upset. They are even questioning wether the new baby is the husbands or the boyfriends. I suppose they will go round and round about that for a while.
She stopped by today to pick up a cat carrier and she's all bruised up. I called Jack at work to tell him what had happen, he said we'll check on her tonight if we get time between other things we need to do.

I've been using a progesterone cream to help with some of the symptoms I've been having thought to be brought on by pre-menopause. I also take an herbal suppliment which seems to help with the mood swings I was having. I continue to get dry skin on my face which causes it to break out. I also still have areas of discoloration on my breast from the rash I had. Im still convienced I have psorisis, which could have caused all the scratching, which caused the fungal infection to being with. I hope soon this will all clear up, I've made an apointment to have my hormone levels checked. Maybe the answer will be there. What ever it takes for me to feel better and not drive Jack nuts.

Ok....enough chit chat...I have to get myself moving.

Susan
~peace~

Monday Monday lala la lala

mmmmmm left over ho-made pizza! It just doesn't get any better then this! I can remember when I used to never eat leftovers. I would rather starve then eat something I ate the day before. Im a little less picky now.....But not much, if it's more then a day old I wont eat it.
I was going to try and avoid talking about myself, but one of my friends and fellow bloggers caught something I said in a past blog and wanted to know why I always talk about Jack and funny stuff and never myself. To talk about myself means I have to explain that Im not all that exciting.

In a nut shell:
I like simple and free. If I can make it instead of buy it I will. If I can take an alternative herb instead of a prescription I will. I don't like confrontation but I will stand up for things I strongly believe in. I don't vote I don't care for our government, but I do love this country. I don't eat red meat, I was a vegetarian for several years. Now, I do eat ground turkey in place of red meat dishes, fish and on very rare occasions chicken. I love bread, I love baking bread and I love the way it makes the house smell when Im baking it. I practice alternative healing such as accupressure, herbs, essential oils and I've had acupuncture done and would do it again. I believe the mind can heal the body, but I am not against modern medicine if need be.

My favorite color is red and earth tones. Im usually very quiet and will be quick to crack a joke. I try not to reveal to much of myself to people, I get my feelings hurt easily. I dislike mean people, ruddiness and ignorance. I will walk away from people who possess these qualities. I dislike people who are materialistic and people who think they are better then everyone else. I don't like the Jones' and I never want to be like them. I would rather live next door to Ozzy Osbourne then some upity family. I like to be held when Im sad. My quietness just means I am being careful in my thoughts. I believe in think first, talk last. I found out my foot taste horrible. I say what I mean and mean what I say. If I tell you Im going to do something....I do it. I like to be accountable and trusted. I love intimacy. I love my children with all my heart and am often misunderstood by my family. How do you explain you did what you HAD to to survive ? I love my family more then they know. I wasn't raised in the most huggy and kissy family and I find it hard to show my emotions to them. I will probably die before they ever know how much my heart aches for them and my Children. I often beat myself up over my life choices, but know I did what was best for everyone at the time.

I like to think of myself as a new age hippy. I don't like to conform and do things just because someone says I have too or it's the norm. I don't openly practice a religion even though religion is a big part of my life. I really dislike is the church experience I find it to be fake. I worked in a catholic church, taught 4th grade religion, I saw the behind the scenes BS that goes on and decided I didn't want any part of it. My religion is what I believe and I am spiritual in my own way (what I was taught as a child). On that note, I realy get annoyed at people who preach the bible but only pick and choose which parts they live by. I believe in a higher power (God) that loves me and wants me to do good and will forgive me for my mistakes. My higher power (God) is understanding, loving and generous.

I am very intuitive and often said to be scarily so. I have unexplained dreams that often come to light later. I hate being stressed and I wont allow myself to get in to, around, near or even remotely close to stress. If I find myself in the middle of a stressful situation I will jump ship and leave. Stress will kill you and I wont have any part of it. I often refer to myself as being a drama free woman. Life is to short to sweat the small stuff.

Enough? (That was a big nut shell!)
Good....Cause now IM tired!
Susan
~peace~

My hard place to fall is broken for a bit

Jack isn't good..........

Every year he goes through this bought of back pain. It's high on his ribs. He says if feels like muscle torn from the bone. He finally got in to see the doctor yesterday and he has ordered an MRI for Jack. This pain started nearly 2 months ago and the last time he had this it was over 3 months before he was better. Jack and I haven't been able to be intimate, nor has Jack been able to sleep in bed with me for sometime. When he does try he ends up getting up in the middle of the night and getting into the recliner. I always wake up alone. A very selfish part of me is wanting him to get better soon for reasons I can't say! But IM sure you can figure out! *smile*

Today we picked up a 'wedge' that he can use in bed to sleep on. We are hoping this helps only time will tell. I feel pretty helpless at times because I can't do anything to make it better. Medicines have not helped at all. The doctor said the MRI will give them an answer and treatment options. Most likely cortisone shot if it's what the doctor thinks.

Hurricane Rita has visited already and less damage then they had thought. All of our friends and family are good and safe. Im glad the out come was better this time around.

I think I've gotten out of my funk a bit, atleast I feel better. Errrr but I hate to talk about me so..........

Well, Im writing this late....and I need to get my shower. Thanks for coming by and please come back when ya can't stay so long. OH>......and don't move if you see me....Im humping everything I see!
Susan
~peace~

Thursday........a storm is brewing

Jack has assured himself and me that his daughter and grandbabies will be safe in Texas, even though we cannot contact her. He's pretty sure she isn't in an area that would be devastated, however she is in an area that could get hit with the storms that always come along with these hurricanes.

I've been in a funk and have continued to stay that way, I appologize for not blogging very much or just writting silly stuff. I hope to return to normal soon.

Susan
~peace~

Hump Day!

Happy Hump Day to all my readers. I promise this hump wont take long. I've been in a bit of a slump. I haven't felt well physically and mental everything is just a garbled mess. I'm sure I'll feel better soon, things have just been a bit stressful here lately and there is about to be a happy ending to a long and horrid story. Don't worry, I wont bore you with what that is. I'll even try to contain my explosion of happiness if I decided to talk about it later.


On a different note, another hurricane is coming in. I hope this one turns out better then the last one. For all of you close, please leave and be safe. My thoughts will be with everyone.

Susan
~Peace~

step away from the tuna and no one gets hurt!

I have kidnapped and hidden your friend! If you want her back you will bring tuna and bring it NOW! Leave the tuna outside the door and knock three times. Once I recieve the tuna I will pass you a note under the door telling you were you can find your friend. The next time she forgets to buy us tuna we will not be so nice!
Signed
The Cat