It seems like so often some little, or sometimes big, incident happens at the apartment complex I live in. It usually involves water. The last time was a tenant leaving the lid to a toilet tank off and the flow master valve popping up and flooding the entire apartment and the one below. *ugh* what a mess!

Last night at 10pm Jack and I were snuggling down in bed when there was a very loud knock at the door. I knew from the sound of it something was wrong. I opened the door and a frantic tenant was standing at my door screaming that there is smoke in the hallway and in their apartment. I advised her to call 911 and I'd be right there. Jack heard part of the conversation and was already up, dressed and putting on his shoes. I had to get dressed and get my contacts in so I could see. Jack grabbed the flashlight and took off. By the time I made it down the street to the other building I was greeted by one of the tenants say "your husband went in the smoke filled hall and laundry room and came out with a smoldering trash can, someone threw a cigarette in it!". I walked up and my husband is standing there all calm and cool and saying "baby someone tossed a cigarette in here" as he showed me the trash can. We got all the doors open and aired out the laundry room and hallway. Just as all the smoke cleared the fire dept pulled up. There was a lot of speculation as to who would do that, why would someone do it, was it intentional or an accident, no one knows.

I was so proud of Jack for being such a pro in this situation because I certainly wouldn't have been. Most of you already know that my husband Jack is a retired Lt. Firefighter and last night I was thanking my lucky stars that he was and knew what he was doing. I don't think I would have went into a smoke filled room and felt around in the darkness. In fact I know I wouldn't have. I would have been to scared. I was so relieved to find out that it wasn't something major and we were able to take care of it. What could have been a disaster turned out ok and thankfully I had Jack here to help me. Normally I have to deal with these issues on my own. I don't know what I would have done without him last night.

Jack, if you read this...(and sometimes he does)....I love you and thank you for saving the day...or night...your the best!!

P.S. Thank you for going back and getting my shoes so I didn't have to stand in the rain any longer with bare feet. BRRR that was COLD!

Susan
~peace~

I live in a nice neighborhood, it's a well ta do subdivision and the homes here are really nice. So are the apartment buildings, including the one I live in and manage. We pay to have our lawn mowed, our leaves picked up, our snow shoveled from the drive. The people who live in our buildings are generally nice people who enjoy living here and are proud to call this place home. For some reason the upity folks around here seem to think our yards are their dogs toilet. We have a strict pet policy here and our tenants have a designated area that they must take their dogs and pick up after them. Currently we have two dogs that live on site. Day after day I watch as a couple of neighborhood people walk by with their dogs. Anyone who has a dog or has ever owned a dog knows that dogs tend to go in the same spot a lot. So it's not a surprise that every time these dogs get here they have to stop in a regular spot and go. Normally I wouldn't give a crap (pun intended) because the owners picked it up before, but recently I've noticed they are not picking up after their dogs. So Im walking down the sidewalk that is in front of our building and there are several piles. It looks horrible, it stinks and it's gross. If I were a dog owner and I allow my dog to crap in someone else's yard.......Wait.....First of all I wouldn't let that happen in the first place and if it did by accident I would clean it up right away.

I remember watching the movie 'me, myself and Irene' and Jim Carey's charater got sick of his neighbors dog crapping in his yard so one morning he walked over and took a dump in the neighbors yard. Now Im not gonna do this, but I am trying to think up a way to stop this from happening. Perhaps a little homemade sign that says 'please pick up after your dog'? Or Maybe "Attention dog owners, our yard isn't a good place to do business" or "No Dumping". How about a catchy little rhyme like "I love my pet, you love yours too, Respect your neighbors and take the poo with you".

I know I probably can't do anything about it really, but maybe if just one dog owner reads this that doesn't pick up after their dog.....aww that's a stretch isn't it?

ok, rant over...Back to your regularly scheduled program.
Susan
~peace~

I love it when Jack leaves his shoes out in the middle of the floor.

I love when he makes a mess with his lunch all over the table.

I love when he puts things away in the wrong place.

I love when he drives badly and scares me to death.

I love when he goes to take out the trash and spills garbage everywhere in my freshly cleaned kitchen.

I love when he leaves the sink dirty from shaving.

I love when he drinks the last of the milk and puts the carton back in the fridge.


Why?
Because it means he's still here with me!

TGIF!

What a lovely start to a three day weekend. Rain turning to sleet turning to snow!

I actually like it, call me wierd, but I enjoy watching the weather change. Jack and I have food so we're in for the weekend and who cares what it's like outside.

Jack and I made a big decission about the van this week. We decided since it was now not starting at all that we were going to just let it go. We didn't want to put anymore money into it and certainly didn't want to be paying insurance on something we can't drive. We had first thought we would just call the junk yard to come get it. Then a guy we know asked if he could have it or buy it from us. He wants to try and fix it up and use for a work vehicle. We decided to give him the van and let him do what he wants to it. So today I signed over the title to it to the guy. I doubt I'll ever see that van on the road again but who knows.

In a way the van leaving symbolizes the end of any material connection I've had to my ex. It is the only thing left that I took from our divorce that I still had. Ofcourse I didn't take anything, but that was my choice. So now everything of material value that I had from my first marriage is gone. I no longer have to look at something like that and think about my past. The only connection I have now is my children and Im happy to have that one.

ok...off to do some things I've been putting off. I've been lazy enough today. May you all dream happy dreams and may they come true!
Susan
~peace~

Dealing with grief at a distance

Today is the day my family back east (Vermont) will have a service for my Grandmother. Tomorrow there will be a time for friends to visit and then she will be taken to the cemetery where her body will be held as they have to wait until spring to bury people. Another burial service will be held in the spring.

The strong urgency to want to be there has to be suppressed. Every time I think of not being able to say goodbye a stream of tears wash down my face. I wanted to be able to touch her hand, tell her goodbye properly. I'll have to settle with doing it from a distance. Today will be the hardest day yet. I'll wait for the phone call from my Aunt telling me how it went, how lovely and peaceful she looked.....

I tried doing some things to get my mind off it, but it only gets worse. I may stay curled up in bed most of the day.

adieu
Susan
~peace~

Moving forward

Thank you to all my readers for all the warm wishes during my loss and pain. You don't know how much that truly means to me. It lifts me and renews my hope in that there really are good people out there.

Today I started walking. I decided last night it was time to do something about my weight. I am at my personal limit right now. Im uncomfortable both inside and out. I got out my jogging pants that I haven't had out in months and slipped on a nice comfy sweatshirt, threw on my sunglasses and bounced out the door. The air is cold but after a block I started to warm up and it felt good. I could feel my lungs screaming at me "whaaaaa fresh air!" I screamed back "get used to it!" and moved on. I live in a 'well to do' subdivision and you always see gals like me out walking so I knew I'd fit right in. About half way threw the winding streets I started to feel like I wanted to stop, but I kept going. It felt like I would never get back around to my street. Finally! the home stretch. I had made note of what time I left so I could increase the time I stay out and walk each week. I figure the first week I'll keep it the same and go farther the following week. Jack always says "inch by inch is a cinch", so Im going by that saying.

Jack had to work thismorning and should be home about lunch time. He's taking me out tonight to officially celebrate our anniversary. I'm excited I always love going to the city. Ofcourse he could take me to the dump and I'd be happy. Until we purchased the truck we couldn't get out of town. Speaking of the van, I drove it to the post office yesterday while Jack was at work. It was so bad I wasn't sure it would get me back home. We're going to have a serious talk about whether we should keep it around at all. Im still not convinced it's the transmission, but then I'm not a specialist in that department so what do I know.

well I hear a shower calling me. I love you all and thank you all again for being there for me.

Susan
~peace~

She was a kind and caring soul

If I were to only remember one thing about my Grandmother it would be that she was such a kind, caring, loving and thoughtful woman. Constantly fussing over my Grandpa and everyone else. If she wasn't in the kitchen either cooking again or cleaning again she was with the grandkids watching us play or reading us a story. She was very involved with us kids. I can remember her hand sewing her old dresses to make dress up clothes for all the girls. Every hat and purse she owned eventually made it to the dress up box. My grandmother had this unique way of giving you a gift. She would make up a treasure hunt about the house. She'd hand you a note that had a little rhyme on it giving you a hint where to find the next clue. The treasures were not always some new fangled toy, sometimes they were little things she had made or something old she had that she wanted you to have. Sometimes just a note pinned to a fabric heart she had sewn saying she loved you. With as many grandchildren as she had, she did an amazing job making each individual child feel special and loved.

I know that she adored my Grandfather, she was always a busy bee around him making sure he had everything he needed. Dinner's were not small, she would cook and cook and cook. The spreads she would put out on a table were enough for two army's. There was always something for everyone's taste. After each dinner she'd stand around the kitchen and clean till her hands were prunes. Sometimes she wouldn't be finished cleaning after one meal when she'd have to start the next. To this day I cook a lot of meals that were taught to me and handed down by my Grandmother.

I will miss her dearly and feel guilt that I did not contact her as often as I should have in my adult years. It's something I will have to be ashamed of. I will miss her Christmas cards with letters attached telling me about the garden and the birds that visit her. The scoldings from her telling me to write her more and send pictures. She was a gentle soul that deserved so much more in life, but was happy with what she was given.

God bless you Grandma, I love you and will miss you. Thank you for being the most wonderful Grandma a child could ask for. Thank you for all your love, hugs and kisses. May your soul rest in peace now. May your love live on in those you have touched.

Amazing Grace

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me....I once was lost but now am found,Was blind, but now, I see. T'was Grace that taught...my heart to fear.And Grace, my fears relieved.How precious did that Grace appear...the hour I first believed. Through many dangers, toils and snares...we have already come.T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...and Grace will lead us home. The Lord has promised good to me...His word my hope secures.He will my shield and portion be...as long as life endures. When we've been here ten thousand years...bright shining as the sun.We've no less days to sing God's praise...then when we've first begun. "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me....I once was lost but now am found,Was blind, but now, I see.

Psalm 23

"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me: thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil: my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever."

Susan

~peace~

Good bye Grandma..........

I started this blog to say my Grandma was ill and wasn't expected to make it much more then a week. Just as I had started this my Dad called me back to tell me she didn't make it.

I want to tell you all about her, but I can't right now. I will try tomorrow.

Susan
~peace~

Don't loan our your clippers!

If you have ever shaved your husbands head with your brand new eyebrow trimmer, you may be a redneck............
or someone who loaned out your trimmer and it was never returned.

Jack was on vacation from work for 2 weeks. Normally he would shave his head every morning before work. He decided during his 2 weeks of pure rest and relaxation that he'd let it grow out. I was really enjoying his new look. I tried to encourage him to just leave it short.

We both had to return to work on Tuesday the 3rd and were dreading it. We both got quite used to sleeping until dinner time. On the evening of the 2nd Jack decided he was going to shave his head for work the next day instead of waiting until morning. Thank goodness he did, I can't imagine how this would have played out at 5:30am.

He lathered up his head, chased me about the apartment with shaving cream filled hands and then began to shave. As I headed down the hallway telling him some silly story as I always do I paused as I noticed the look on his face. "what's wrong?" I asked. "it's to long and it's not shaving off with this razor" he replied. "get out our clippers" he said. Suddenly a lump formed in my throat. I began to sweat as he turned and looked at me with urgency. I stared at his now brutaly chopped up hair. "oh don't tell me we don't have clippers anymore baby" he pleaded. "um...er...I loaned them out and......"

As he continued to hack away at his head with a razor I could hear him grumbling under his breath. I was rushing about trying to find the power cord to his beard trimmer that he hasn't used in over a year. I looked in every drawer, cabinet and junk drawer I could find. His groans began to get louder and I began to panic. "Wait.....I got a little trimmer!" I proudly stated. I had him sit down on the stool. I took out an eyebrow trimmer with a cutting area of less then a half an inch. Jack sat with a look on his face that I have never seen before. I kept trying to make light of the situation and kept assuring him that it was working to just give me a min or two. I noticed he was wincing and scrunching his nose so I asked "does it hurt?" He replied "like getting a tattoo!" ooooh errrr oops! "sorry" I said as I continued to carve 1/4 inch paths in his head. When we were done his head looked like it was pecked to death by a flock of wild birds. He was NOT amused!

He'll laugh about it once his head stops burning and we have purchased a new set of clippers. Until then every time he touches his head he looks at me like I ate the last cookie in the jar.

Because we went on vacation to see my kids for Christmas and bought a new truck three days before the holidays we had to struggle a bit money wise for a week before payday. It felt worse because we didn't have a lot of food in the apartment before the holidays. Today is payday....Thank God....IM sick of pb&j and soup. I realized this past week (survival week as Jack called it) that it is times like this that weird food concoction are invented. I ate stale chips and catsup for dip, made mayonnaise sandwiches, catsup and mustard sandwiches and noodles and ranch dressing. I learned one very valuable food lesson this past week. You can't replace water for milk when making instant pudding. Yuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

I want to thank all my readers for continuing to read my silly dribble. I hope all of you have a great weekend. May you all feel loved by someone and may peace fill your hearts.

Susan
~peace~

Happy Anniversary!

Our love has grown into something bigger and brighter then I had ever imagined it would. You have taken me to places I have never been before, and we never left our home. You have shown me what true love really is and it didn't hurt a bit. You have shown me how a real man treats a woman and you didn't once raise your voice or turn your back. You are a true gentleMAN and I love you mostly for that quality. I thank your Mother and Father for giving you that amazing gift.

You have given me the gift of freedom, the gift to be me and express who I am. You allow me to be a woman and have taught me how to be a lady. There is nothing in this world that I need as long as I have you by my side.

We have suffered threw some terrible times and came out on the brighter side, thanks to you and your kindness and compassion. I know no other man who possesses greater qualities. Your wisdom teaches me things I never would have known before. You have an amazing gift of truth.

Thank you for loving me and most importantly, thank you for being such a loving, caring, compassionate, understanding and rock solid MAN.

I love you!

Susan
~peace~